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How to Discover Your Core Intimacy Gifts

How to Discover Your Core Intimacy Gifts

Young or old, single or coupled, each of us is faced with the great challenge of learning to love. Our core gifts lie at the heart of our intimacy journey, and when we identify them, we hold an invaluable key to understanding ourselves and all our relationships. Answering these two simple questions will enable you […]

Lady Valor: Kristin Beck, gender-role freedom and love

Lady Valor: Kristin Beck, gender-role freedom and love

Lady Valor, airing this Thursday, is an inspiring CNN documentary about transgender activist Kristin Beck. As a decorated Navy Seal, Christopher Beck crossed enemy lines to fight for freedom. As Kristin, she crosses equally scary enemy lines; the gender taboos that hold all of us back from full self-expression and deeper intimacy. read more

Research That Will Change The Way You Think About Dating

Research That Will Change The Way You Think About Dating

The majority of dating advice subtly guides us away from authentic intimacy. In its superficial fixation on looks, games and gimmicks, such advice sparks insecurity and encourages unkindness toward ourselves and others. According to exciting research there’s a much more effective path to love–and it’s not about looks or games. Here are some of these […]

What No One Teaches Us About Love

What No One Teaches Us About Love

Fear of intimacy isn’t a character flaw rendering us unfit for intimacy; it is part of being human. If we're breathing, we have fear of intimacy. The real question is: How do we keep love at arms length-and what can we do to change that? Addressing this two-part question is perhaps the most direct path [...]
The Power of the Gifts We Hide

The Power of the Gifts We Hide

Each of us creates a “false self” to protect our “true self” when it feels frightening to be genuine in the world. If our false self becomes dominant, it begins to bury the very qualities it was originally designed to protect. These buried qualities often hold the key to deeper love, creativity and meaning in […]

The Two Best Questions For Your Sex Life

The Two Best Questions For Your Sex Life

Often, the questions we ask of ourselves are what finally carve the shape of our lives. A great question excites us, opens new doors, and invites both compassion and curiosity. I’d like to offer two such questions about sex. Your answers will teach you rich lessons about your sex life—and more. read more

Creating an Intimacy-Rich Life: A Journey In Three Stages

Creating an Intimacy-Rich Life: A Journey In Three Stages

In my practice as a psychotherapist, I’ve observed a remarkable pattern in the lives of people who strive for healthy intimacy. This pattern is marked by three important–and often surprising—stages. Each stage is a mark of real progress, yet few of us are taught how to navigate these challenges. I invite you to consider which […]