Speaking

How Your Deepest Insecurities Reveal Your Greatest Gifts

In my decades of practice as a psychotherapist, this is the insight that has inspired me most:

Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.

Our Core Gifts are the most direct path to love and to the deepest meaning of our lives. They are not the same as talents or skills. In fact, until we understand them, they often feel like shameful weaknesses, or as parts of ourselves too vulnerable to expose. Yet they are where our soul lives. They are like the bone marrow of our psyche, generating a living stream of impulses toward intimacy and authentic self-expression. But gifts aren’t hall-passes to happiness. They get us into trouble again and again. They challenge us and the people we care about. They ask more of us than we want to give. And we can be devastated when we feel them betrayed or rejected. So we distance ourselves from the heat of our gifts. Yet the farther we get from the heat of these gifts, the less passionate and fulfilling our lives become.

In this lecture, I teach participants what core gifts are and how to discover their own. Throguh inspiring stories and dynamic group processes, participants will learn about their own core gifts, and how to lead with them in their relationships, their professional life, and in their personal search for meaning.

Deeper Dating: How to Transform Your Search for Love by Discovering Your Core Gifts

Single people are sold a terrible bill of goods. Look at the cover of almost any magazine that offers advice on dating and sex. What are they telling readers to do? Lose weight, dress better, stop being so needy; in other words, improve yourself if you hope to find love.

Unfortunately, this type of “hold your breath and pull your stomach in” advice is doomed from the start. When we grasp for a goal by trying to reshape ourselves, we end up disempowered and diminished.

I think there’s a wiser path to finding love. And it turns out that this path is also the path to personal greatness. It is the path of our gifts. My Psychology Today blog, Finding Love teaches a wiser, more self-loving approach to the search for love, and it has touched the lives of almost a million readers.

In this dynamic, life-changing talk, I teach any single audience how to transform the way they search for love though a three step process:

  • Naming your unique Core Gifts
  • Leading with your gifts in your dating life
  • Only pursuing and cultivating your “attractions of inspiration”

Dating does not have to be a painful numbers game that favors the young and stereotypically beautiful. No matter your age, weight or life circumstances, if you follow these three suggestions, your dating life will change, and you’ll feel yourself moving closer to a truly loving relationship.

How to Discover Your Life Mission

In this lecture, I will teach participants how to use their Core Gifts to discover their life-mission; the place where “their great joy meets the worlds great hunger” using a dynamic, and inspiring three stage model.

The first stage of discovering our life-mission is through valuing and developing gratitude for what we already have. Participants will explore and discuss the greatest gifts in their lives. Doing this creates a new sense of positive direction, and illumines the most direct path out of the hardships and complexities of their lives.

The second stage is becoming brave and honest enough to articulate your mission. And the third stage is finding a community of support—people who honor and celebrate your vision, and will support you in bringing it in to fruition.

This lecture will take participants through each of these stages, and through the exercises and processes I’ll lead people through, each participant will leave the workshop with a much clearer understanding of their own personal life-mission, and the beginnings of a new community of support.